|FYI, moving your anxious 60 lb. puppy in a Uhaul is not ideal.|
|Finally out of the truck!|
Today also marks one year since we found out I was pregnant. I woke up from sleeping on our mattress that was on the ground, with boxes all around me and I told Blake, "I think I should take a test today." I had said this lots of times before with no success so I was skeptical that we would get any good news, but here is what I wrote in my journal that day because I didn't want to forget it:
"Last night I had a dream that I found out I was pregnant. Except the pregnancy test was the size of a pizza box. Haha. I've thought I might be pregnant for a couple weeks now so I ran to Raleys in Modesto for a test and went for the most expensive ones. I came home and did the test and Blake set a timer for 3 minutes. Once the timer was up I ran to grab the test and sat on the bed with Blake and revealed it on the count of three. There were two bright pink lines and Blake and I were in disbelief. I think I've had so many negatives that I still can't believe it's real. We're so excited for this phase of our life!!"
Like I mentioned, I thought that I might be pregnant, but I had thought that before. I would always look for symptoms or convince myself I had symptoms of pregnancy in hopes that it would be true. But after a while I just expected negative tests so I wouldn't feel so let down when it did come back negative. I would read blogs and message boards on internet that trying for a year is normal, but then so many people I knew got pregnant on their first try.
Our story isn't so different from many others, but it took us over a year to get pregnant. Sometimes I felt guilty feeling sad because I knew there were so many people who had tried for so much longer to get pregnant and then sometimes I felt upset and bitter because other people would announce a pregnancy. Both of which are wrong to feel. I listened to a talk once that essentially taught me to not compare each other's sorrows and pain. Just because someone else feels more sadness or pain, does not mean that in my own situation I don't feel my own sadness and pain. I feel like for the most part I was hopeful that Heavenly Father just had a plan and a timeline and everything would work out. In the moment it was difficult, but in hindsight I feel like it was His plan for everything to happen when it did.
This year has been an amazing one. It has had its ups and downs, but then I feel like I reflect on everything that's happened and even the downs have turned into ups! A couple that I want to share:
1. Getting pregnant when we did: I got to experience my pregnancy all in one place. A place with lots of family close by and family always passing through. My sister moved to Utah just a couple months after Molly was born. Maybe coincidence but maybe just all part of the plan.
2. I got let go from a job in December and didn't think I would try and find work because who is going to hire someone who is 4 months pregnant? Well, sitting at home got old and I don't think it was good for me. Blake encouraged me to find something in hair and I was skeptical. Truth be told, I lacked some confidence when it came to hair because at school you have teachers to answer your questions and give you guidance and fix things if it goes south and I felt like I wasn't experienced enough, but you need experience to get better! So, I applied to Great Clips down the road and it was just what I needed. I got so much better so quickly. My boss was amazing and flexible with me and I feel confident in my skills and abilities.
3. Our basement flooded in January. Probably 6 inches of water across these two rooms. We had just moved some office furniture and my salon chair in the space LITERALLY the night before. Blake had just started school that night and it was so overwhelming to deal with. Well a couple months later after the headaches of contacting our insurance company and our home warranty company, we got everything restored and it looked so much better than it had before. My new space is perfect for cutting hair and Blake often comes home with coworkers at lunch for haircuts. (His office is one mile from our house and it is the best!)
|Salon Before: This is after they gutted everything.|
|Office Before |
So, as I do sometimes, this may be the only post I write this year, but I wanted to reflect on everything we've been through this year and most importantly, remember the day that we found out we were going to be parents. I still can't believe that I get to be a mom. It's the best job in the world.
|Also, haven't posted any pictures of myself from the hospital because you just don't feel attractive, but it's also kind of beautiful to see what 41 weeks of pregnancy and 12 hours of labor looks on you and the miracle that it brings into the world.|